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Naming Your Brain When It’s Being Unhelpful


(…or under stress, or stuck in rumination, or catastrophising)




My hope is that this exercise will help you to relate differently to unhelpful thoughts by noticing them as mental activity rather than facts or identity.


You do this by giving the distressing or unhelpful thinking pattern you've identified (the ones you just sometimes fall into) a separate name.


You then refer to it in the third person when it becomes unhelpful, repetitive, or overly negative. Instead of: “I’m failing at everything” you instead say something like: “Ah, The Drama Queen is telling me a failure story again.”


Why it helps


When we are caught inside strong thoughts, they often feel like facts. This technique creates distance so you can observe rather than absorb them. Research from cognitive psychology (notably Ethan Kross and colleagues) shows that third-person self-talk can:


  • Reduce emotional intensity

  • Decrease rumination

  • Improve problem-solving under stress


Through using techniques like this, we can learn to see thoughts as mental events rather than truths.


How to use it


Step 1: Notice


Pause when you recognise you are caught in a strong and/or distressing thought pattern, stuff like:

  • Self-criticism

  • Worrying about the future

  • Replaying conversations or situations (Rumination)

  • Feeling overwhelmed or stuck


Step 2: Name the Role / Unhelpful Thinking Pattern


Give the pattern a simple, neutral, or even slightly playful name. Here's a few examples to get you thinking of one for you...


  • A descriptor-based name: The Inner Critic, The Alarm System, The Planner, The Worry Brain, The Protector

  • A human name: Dorothy, Steven, Karen, Dave

  • A light or humorous name (this is often really helpful for creating distance): Drama Queen, Catastrophe FM, The Doom Forecaster, Sir Overthinkalot, The Spiral


The aim is not to mock or dismiss it, but to recognise it as one part of your mind - and not all of you.


Step 3: Speak in the third person


Begin to relate to this as "not you" by shifting from “I” language to “it” or “name” language.


  • “Steven is predicting the worst-case scenario again.”

  • “The Alarm System is firing pretty hard right now.”

  • “Ah, Catastrophe FM is broadcasting.”

  • “Worry Brain is trying to solve something that isn’t solvable in this moment.”


Step 4: Add perspective (optional)


You may gently remind yourself:

  • “This is a thought, not a fact.”

  • “This is my mind trying to protect me.”

  • “This is what my brain does when it’s under stress.”

  • “I don’t need to solve this right now.”


Step 5: Re-engage with life

Choose one small grounding action:

  • Return to what you were doing

  • Take a few slow breaths

  • Focus on physical sensation (feet on floor, chair supporting you)

  • Do one next practical thing. Take action. Action changes your neurophysiology. Unpack the dishwasher. Make yourself a cup of tea. etc


Important note

This exercise is not about pushing thoughts away or arguing with them. It is about changing your relationship to them so they have less control over how you feel and act.

A touch of humour can help - but the deeper aim is perspective, not dismissal.


For keen or advanced users!


Some people can find it helpful to create multiple named roles in their brain - very aligned with a therapy modality named Internal Family Systems. Again, a few examples:


  • The Protector (alerting you to risk - real or perceived)

  • The Judge (evaluates and criticises both you and others)

  • The Fixer (tries to solve everything immediately)

  • Dorothy (tends to personalise and feel rejected)

  • Sir Overthinkalot (loops and loops without resolution)


IFS comes from a perspective that we are all a mutiplicity of roles or "parts" (in IFS language), and that becoming aware of these is useful! There are other "parts" you can turn to, develop or activate which may align with your deeper values and more "Centred Self" oriented ways of living and being.


If that sounds like a useful 'frame' for you and you'd like to learn more, here is an excelllent interview with the founder of IFS, Richard Schwarz, which will teach you more about how to apply this in your own life. It's a practical and compassionate path.


Over time, my wish for you is that you may notice when these patterns appear in ever increasingly predictable situations, which can then help you to build your awareness of Self and therefore give you greater choice in how you respond.


Go well out there!


Hilary Jackson

April 2026

 
 
 

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