Blog

All unhealthy relationship patterns & interactions are affected by difficulties in these two domains: 1 - Boundaries (too strong or too...

Ever been in an argument where you knew it wasn’t going anywhere good? Most fights don’t start as full-blown explosions. They build. ...

The idea of love languages has helped many couples identify the ways in which they prefer to give and receive love. By categorising these...

Met attachment needs provide the foundation for secure attachment in relationships. You can meet these needs not just by saying them...

Learning how to approach your partner when you feel hurt, and use it as an opportunity for relationship growth is a skill that can be...

I used to wonder why it seemed like my heart hardened with every year that passed? I was mindlessly becoming a thick fossil of judgments...

The "gold" of relationships appears within the realm of conflict: a constant movement between misattunement and repair. Some...

When you’re talking to your partner and your emotions start to escalate, one of the most important questions to ask yourself is “Which...

Hi There! Each month I send out a collection of stuff I think is either useful, interesting or funny (or all three - thats the sweet...

I posted something today on my GoodTherapy FB page that felt really important. So, here I am turning it into a blog post, because... well...

A wise man said something to me a month ago that really hit me in the mind and heart - in the way that really deep truths do. ...

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships” ~Henry Winkler Reactivity between my partner and I is "up". And yeah, I realise it's a...

I first heard this song when I was in my early 30's. The movie Magnolia remains one of my favourites. It struck a deep chord - both the...

Writing this in week 8 of Level 3 Lockdown in Auckland, NZ. It's been harder this time; I've been hearing that from my clients, my...

What does the concept of ‘being ordinary’ bring up for you? It was only recently that I was asked to consider this. And, to be honest...

I think it’s true to say that by the time our children leave home, we’d love to think that a few nuggets of our hard-won wisdom will go...

I’m driving at 110kms along the Auckland motorway. I’m punching the empty passenger seat beside me, hitting the steering wheel. This is...

When I decided I wanted to write a piece on respect, I imagined I’d do some kind of in-depth examination of one central juicy question. ...

My eldest son turned 20 a few months back. It was around a week ago that I found myself sitting in the bath with my 7 year old daughter,...

Vulnerability matters. It increases the depth and quality of connections that we create. The act of being vulnerable requires us to...