Reframe, Don’t Suppress: The Brain Science of Emotional Regulation

Brain scans reveal something powerful: when we reframe our emotions—consciously shifting how we interpret a situation—we activate the part of the brain responsible for calm, reasoned thinking. In contrast, when we suppress our emotions, the brain lights up stress circuits instead, keeping us in a state of internal alarm.

This one shift - from suppression to reframing - has a profound impact on our long-term stress load.

Suppressing Emotions: Keeps you in Threat Mode

When emotions are pushed down or ignored, the brain remains in a threat state. The Amygdala, the part of the brain involved in detecting danger, stays active. As a result, stress hormones like cortisol remain elevated, and the nervous system doesn’t get the signal to stand down. The body stays tense. The mind keeps scanning for threat. Emotionally, we remain on high alert.

So - step one is to acknowlege how you feel. This in itself is a profound act of self-compassion; of true self-friendship. You would not tell a friend to 'go away' if they came to you looking for empathy, would you?

Our next step lies in looking honestly at the role we might be playing in our own suffering.

Reframing emotions, also called cognitive reappraisal, activates the Prefrontal Cortex. This is the brain region involved in planning, reasoning, and emotional regulation. When this area is engaged, it helps us regulate the Amygdala and therefore calm our emotional reactivity. I think we can all agree that this is going to go so better for us than whatever we might think or do when our Amygdala is running the show (think: fight/flight/freeze).

Suppression of emotions also increases activity in brain regions associated with threat detection, including the Amygdala, and another area called the Anterior Cingulate Cortex (ACC). The ACC plays a key role in emotional distress, error detection, and the experience of pain - both physical and emotional. When the ACC is over-activated, it contributes to a state of chronic vigilance and internal tension.

So it is that over time, the suppressing of your emotions keeps your brain stuck in high alert mode. The nervous system stays braced. The mind spins stories. Suppression, in many ways, is a subtle form of self-abandonment. The more we distance ourselves from how we truly feel, the more disconnected from ourselves we become. When we judge ourselves for having the feelings that we do, or try as hard as we can not to have them... we are suppressing.

How Reappraisal can help you feel calm again

Reappraisal, by contrast, involves two things:

1) acknowledging what we feel and

2) shifting it's meaning.

Some examples:

• “This is temporary.”

• “This isn’t personal.”

• “I can handle this, even if it’s hard.”

This kind of cognitive shift trains the brain to regulate itself more effectively. It builds long-term emotional resilience and protects against burnout, emotional exhaustion, and stress-related symptoms.

When we’re in survival mode, our thinking narrows, and we become rigid in how we see things. That rigidity often leads to more stress. But when we widen our perspective - when we entertain new ways of interpreting our experiences - it calms the nervous system and expands our capacity to respond, rather than react. We stay connected to ourselves, and likely to the others around us.

Just like physical training strengthens the body, emotional regulation strengthens with consistent practice. But lasting change happens when the nervous system also feels safe enough to let go of its defenses. Being there for ourselves - acknowledging what we feel, and meeting those feelings with kindness and compassion - is essential. Suppressing how we feel is, in many ways, a form of self-abandonment. Just as we need empathy and validation from others, we also need it from ourselves.

It's really important to be able to recognise when the way we are framing our experiences may actually be exacerbating our own suffering. Reframing - or Cognitive Reappraisal - is not about denial or suppression. It’s about finding a way to view life’s unfolding in ways that help us remain centred, present, and loving - towards ourselves and others.

That’s when healing & integration truly begins.